Filter Through Life

No Rest for the Jostled
September 21, 2008, 1:20 pm
Filed under: Daily Living, Random Junk | Tags: , ,

Ever since my surgery, I have had a difficult time getting a good night’s sleep.  However, last night was one of the worst in a while.  I remember having a dream that I was trying to outrun a tornado.  I was running from it on foot and in a car.  It was crazy but I eventually found refuge…IN A DOUBLE-WIDE MOBILE HOME!!!


No wonder I rolled and twisted all night long and woke up with no covers.  I’m stupid in my sleep.


Code Talkers

Legacy Fellowship is not quite big enough to support a paid staff so we all volunteer our time and work full-time jobs as well.  I sell home and commercial security systems for a large company.  Safety and the feeling it provides is priceless (of course, if you live in the Austin area and you email me, I can provide it quite reasonably).


My Dad is a retired Houston Police Officer of 22 years.  His idea of home security is a little different.  He gave me a home security system last week in the form of a 4” blue steel Ruger GP-100 .357 Magnum.


So, I was cleaning my new home security device and I thought, “You know, it would be kind of cool if someone called me while I am cleaning my gun and asked me what I am doing.”  About two minutes later Chad called me and asked, “Hey man, what are you doing?”


“Cleaning my gun,” I exclaimed.


“Cleaning your gun?”


“Yes, cleaning my gun.”


Rebecca (Chad’s wife), sounding somewhat concerned, somewhat sarcastic, asks, “Uhhh, do you need to call him back?” 


I reply, “What?  No, it’s cool.  I have you on speaker.”


“Oh, so ‘cleaning my gun’ isn’t code for something else then?”


“No, but that would have be a good one.”

I am almost Peter Parker
September 19, 2008, 8:52 pm
Filed under: Daily Living, Marriage, Random Junk, Relationships | Tags:

Earlier today, Cheri came at me as if my head were a fly and she was Daniel Larusso with a set of chopsticks.  Apparently, I had a spider crawling in my goatee.  She probably saved my life today because I’m pretty sure it was a Black Widow.  She showed no fear in the face of death and I owe her big time.


Wife who catch spider on husband face shop for anything.


Thanks Honey, I love you.

I Feel the Need. The Need for Kripsy Kreme. And so did Tony.
September 6, 2008, 10:25 pm
Filed under: Daily Living, Random Junk, Relationships | Tags:

The staff of Legacy Fellowship is a completely volunteer staff.  Yes, completely.  That means even our Lead Pastor, Tony.  Though the jury is still out on just how hard he actually has to work at his real job, I mean, some of us even think he might be in the mafia.  Come on; Tony Chimento, Tony Soprano?  Need I say more?  But seriously, he works a full-time job, has a family (with a TEENAGER!) and pastors our church.  That is a lot of work.  My Houston Texans’ hat is off too you.


So a handful of the members and staff were up at the church today to help move some furniture around and clean up.  Tony mentioned something referencing how we used to bring in Krispy Kreme donuts for Sunday morning services.  I say, “used to” because money has been a little tight and we are still trying to get things finished at the building so lately members have been bringing the donuts.  However, nobody lives by Krispy Kreme and Tony apparently had an itch to scratch this morning.  He said he really missed getting his Krispy Kreme every week.


Cheri and I decided to have dinner this evening and afterwards we would get desert; Krispy Kreme.  The light was on (if you are familiar with KK you know what I mean) so we got our hot one and a dozen of glazed and chocolate dipped.  We stopped by the Chimento home to bless them with the iced decadence but we didn’t just drop them off.  No sir, we couldn’t pass up and opportunity to let Tony break bread with his disciples.  That would have been selfish of us. 


If was a good night of yummylicious donut eating and chatting but I am glad we got to bless them finally.  Thanks guys.


Oh, if you would like to chip in to the Get’er Done campaign you can do so here.

By Request
August 20, 2008, 11:09 am
Filed under: Daily Living, Random Junk, Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

It has been requested that I update my blog.  I know, I couldn’t believe it either.  I guess since I have been home for the last seven days doing little to nothing I could give it a shot.


Last Wednesday I had surgery on a SLAP Tear (no, I didn’t swear at my Momma).  The procedure is called SLAP Repair, go figure.  Nothing too terribly major really; they went in via three small incisions, lassoed the torn Labrum, anchored it down to the bone with a screw and repaired some torn cartilage while they were in there.  I couldn’t feel anything for the rest of the day thanks to a nerve block.  However, the next day and the following four or five have been REAL fun.  I have had to decide if I would rather feel nauseous from the pain killers or just suck it up, be a man and take the pain.  I chose the former for several days, dosing myself with 700 mg of Hydrocodone every four hours. 


The last couple of days I have chosen to Man-Up!  No pills what-so-ever.  I can almost think clearly and I don’t have the dizzy, pukey feeling all the time.  So that’s good. 


Maybe I will scan the procedure pictures and post them up here.  What do you say?  What to see them?

Attack of the Indiana Clones

There are always some childhood dreams that are inevitably going to be crushed.  ***Spoiler Warning*** In my short time here on earth I have learned that the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus are not real.  I now know can’t live on a diet of M&M’s and Jolt Cola and not get diabetes (or at least fat).  What goes up must come down; that pertains to kites, bottle rockets, baseballs and pectoral muscles (this phenomenon is known to create moobs). 


Another one I learned several years ago was that there was apparently know way to find out what Darth Vader was like as a kid and adolescent without sitting through the abominations that were Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace and Episode II – Attack of the Clones.  Episode III – The Revenge of the Sith was the best of the worst and that isn’t saying a lot.  I blame George Lucas for crushing the dream that was Star Wars.  I loved it as a kid.  I loved Luke Skywalker.  I loved Chewbacca.  I loved to hate Darth Vader.  Most of all, I loved Han Solo.  One thing I am thankful for is that he was not in the prequels or my view of him would be forever tainted.


As we all know, Han Solo was played by one, Harrison Ford.  He is the only person I can think of that has played two iconic figures in two of the greatest geek trilogies filmed.  He WAS Han Solo and he WAS Indiana Jones.  I was so excited, yet I had my apprehensions about it since George Lucas was involved.  My apprehensions were spot on.


Apparently, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg are The Constructicons of Hollywood and they combine to form the Devastator of childhood dreams (I know there has been a lot of geek talk here but if you stay with me I guarantee there will be an end).  First Star Wars and now Indy.  What’s next, E.T. 2: Elliot in Space?  How about Saving Private Ryan: James’ Revenge? 


Is it not enough that our movie heroes get old in the real world?  At least we can suspend our disbelief for a little while and believe that Indy can still handle a whip.  At least we can save the vine swinging for the Tarzan movies and the army of monkeys to The Wizard of Oz or Planet of the Apes.  At least the Indy I grew up with delivered sharp dialogue instead of the garbage I was subjected to last night.


Maybe I set my standards too high.  Maybe I was expecting way too much.  Is that my fault or the filmmakers?  Should I have to lower my expectations to enjoy a movie that could and should have been a whole lot better?  No. 


So my suggestion is for George Lucas to retire.  Mr. Lucas has double, triple and quadruple dipped his hands into the public’s pocket for years with his umpteen different “definitive” releases of Star Wars.  He has enough money.  STOP MAKING BAD MOVIES!!! 


Mr. Spielberg, I know you two are buddies and all but the man has lost it.  Don’t let him influence you anymore.  Hang out at barbeques and talk about your millions but don’t make another film with him involved.  Please, you aren’t getting any more of my money if you do.

I am a Fart Knocker
May 13, 2008, 3:06 pm
Filed under: Blogs, Funny Stuff, Random Junk

 Oh my goodness!  I almost fell out of my chair laughing.  Someone found my blog by searching for….drum roll please….




I don’t know how someone found me like that but that is fantastic. 


Yes sir, here I am!  I’m your huckleberry.